WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
