it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
