he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
