The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
