i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
3pm strippers are depressing
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
