you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
