I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
