I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
