I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
