you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
