Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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