Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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