I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
