Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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