So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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