also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He shit in the fireplace
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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