And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
