Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
