May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
