These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
