I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
