How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
