So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
