I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
