I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
A bitchslap is in order.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
