make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
