mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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