How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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