I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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