ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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