it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
