Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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