don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
