After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
