started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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