Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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