We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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