He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We had to coat check the pizza.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
