He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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