But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Congratulations! We have a period
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