I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
and she was petting her beer can
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
