fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
