I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
