So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
