I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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