i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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