When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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