Kiss
Puke
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
