in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
