I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
