why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
